When it comes to gift giving, it is hard to please my parents. “Don’t waste your money on us!” my mom constantly says. For my father’s 80th birthday this year, my siblings and I wanted to do something special, like go out to a fancy meal or throw a party with family members and friends. My mom’s reaction was this: “I’ll make all the food. You come home.”
And so we did. My father’s actual birthday is December 18 but we celebrate it on Christmas Eve when most of us are apt to be available. This year, with exception to my brother, we gathered at my folks place on December 24.
Rory and I arrived earlier in the day because my mom assigned me to bring the meal together. She had spent a month(!) preparing the various components and it was my job to assemble, reheat, and prepare last minute dishes while my folks attended mass. Mom had also decided to prepare her dishes from my cookbook, Into the Vietnamese Kitchen. She said that the detailed recipes were great as she’d forgotten to jot certain things down in her hand written recipe cards. I was stoked and flattered because Mom can be a harsh critic!
Viet Menu for 16
My mother’s menu consisted of many family favorites. We had baked shrimp toast (p. 27) and lemongrass pork riblets (p. 145) as appetizers with champagne. Then the sit-down meal included creamy corn and shiitake mushroom soup (p. 74) and roasted game hens stuffed with sticky rice and chestnut dressing (p. 248). I made the vegetable side dishes of roasted cauliflower, Romanesco broccoflower in browned butter, roasted sweet potatoes with orange zest, and salad. (Note that for the shrimp toasts, we used baguette instead of the thinly sliced white bread, which wasn't available.)
What always impresses me is how my mom has everything prepped in advance. Because things get chaotic with 16 people in the house, she partially roasted the stuffed game hens and had me finish roasting them right before serving. That’s one of the great takeaways from the event. Her organization and brazen approach to freezing practically everything is really great. All I do is come in and marshal my siblings, nieces and nephews into cooking duties! Weeks in advance, Mom and I discuss the menu. She has me fill in here and there with sides.
It’s a team effort as I've been helping my mom out in the kitchen for years. I'm like her sous chef and sometimes chef de cuisine. However, this year, after I arrived, my mother said, “Do what you want from here. I am passing the knife to you!” Then she went to do her hair and go to church.
Decor
My dad is the décor king, and for his birthday, he made the big lit-up “80” and hung it behind the dining table. He and I used to decorate the house together when I was a kid. He loves to tinker.
He also made a leaf for the “children’s” table and set the adult and children’s table. Bo Gia (“Old Daddy” in Vietnamese) proudly said that he came up with the nifty linen napkin fold that made each one look like a dove. “It’s good for the holiday season. The dove is a symbol of peace,” he remarked.
A Few Gifts
You have to have gifts for a birthday. My sisters Linh bought the cake and Yenchi brought a case of wine. Rory and I provided the champagne. For the non-perishable presents, we tried to gift Bo Gia a few humble things that he couldn’t deem wasteful. My nieces, Sonia, Paulina, and Cynthia did a really nifty thing and cut out photos of themselves and their siblings for a collage that spelled out “We heart Grandpa.” I collected old and new photographs and put them in an electronic picture frame.
Then there was my thirteen-year-old nephew Peter. He and his siblings outgrew their Legos so he auctioned them off on eBay and used the proceeds to buy a wine opener and statuette for my dad. When it came time to open gifts, Peter grabbed his present and stepped up to the plate first. He grinned ear-to-ear as Grandpa opened the box.
When we were kids, we all had to work very hard because our family financially struggled a lot. Now that we’re adults and better off, my parents turn around and spoil us. They make the food, decorate the house, and even do the dishes. My parents revel in having their family in the house, partly because we’re the reason why they endured their hardships. My father has led an amazing life, from being born in Thanh Hoa in northern Vietnam, relocating multiple times, and starting over in the United States.
“I have lived a long time and am blessed to be here today,” Bo Gia said, thanking us for making his 80th a special occasion. We were all grateful to be there too.
P.S. With exception to the photo at the the top of this post, the rest came from my dad's camera. He said to me, "This is for your blog!"
Jack Vu
This is a great story - my dad's 80th birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and you've given me some good ideas for decorations and gifts. For us it will be mostly family as that is how my dad wants it, and we'll cater instead of cooking. The weird thing in our family is that for major get togethers, we always cater Thai food instead of Vietnamese!
Shuku
Oh that is such a -WONDERFUL- celebration, Andrea! Your family is blessed indeed. Your father reminds me of my grandpa - could never get him anything because he had nothing that he really wanted, but he had an infamous sweet tooth and loved chocolate, so we used to buy him the best we could find.
For my grandpa's 95th birthday (yes, he lived to a ripe old age!) it wasn't much of an affair because by then he couldn't walk much or eat much of his favourite food any more. We brought his favourite dishes back to the house from the restaurant he loved (mapo tofu, roast pork Chinese style), and sat with him that evening, and I know he was happy because he was smiling that I was home. It was the last birthday we celebrated with him, as it turns out, but I am glad that even if it was quiet, he enjoyed it.
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jae_em
Happy belated bday to your father! This was such a treat to read; glad the turn out was great - and I was salivating as I read through your menu.
Esmé Moreira
Thank you for sharing the photos and descriptions of your father's 80th Birthday celebrations with all of us Andrea. All the dishes here look out of this world.
Happy Belated birthday to your father and congratulations to your mother to have organised all the food ahead of time. They are both a very good-looking couple.
Esmé
in Northern California
Diane
What a great story! Your parents look just glowing in that photo. It's precious those times when family is all together. Congratulations on your Dad's 80th.
Andrea Nguyen
Thanks for the good wishes, everyone. My mom and dad keep up on this blog. They don't comment but they participate in their own special way!
Anh
Happy belated birthday to your father! You have such a beautiful family. The foods look delicious!
Sending you and your family wishes of good health, happiness and success that exceed your expectations.
Anh
Southern California
Thuy
Happy belated 80th birthday to your father. Wishing him many more happy and healthy years to come.
It is great that your parents keep up with your blog. I got teary-eyed at the end when you mentioned about how life was when you first was in America.
Andrea Nguyen
Thanks, Anh and Thuy.
Life was hard on all the Viet refugees who came to the U.S. My family's story is not uncommon. It's nice to be able to look back. If you have older family members, give them a hug (or an Asian long-armed embrace) and ask them what life was like when they were young in Vietnam. Those stories are precious and will be lost if they're not collected.
eda
hi andrea-thank you for inviting us into your kitchen and life. makes me feel like home. your stories and recipes are wonderful.
Hue
Thank you for sharing - love reading your blog as I am a Vietnamese-American!! What a beautiful occasion for a sweet man! Your parents sound so much like mine. "Don't spend your money on us. We don't need anything! Just come home." 🙂
Your dad doesn't look a day over 60!
Tammy
I have to echo everyone here, can't resist: your father is glowing with good health and joy! What a wonderful party, thank you for sharing such a nice family story! It makes me wish my parents weren't on the other side of an ocean...
Office 2007
thank you for sharing such a nice family story! It makes me wish my parents weren't on the other side of an ocean...
Red Bottom shoes sale`
Move on!
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Fact speak louder than words.
marlon
Sending you and your family wishes of good health, happiness and success that exceed your expectations.