I may have learned to cook from my mother but I learned to eat from my father. He adores good food and when I was growing up, we spent a lot of time together. Before my family fled Vietnam in 1975, my dad was a busy business man struggling to stay afloat in a country that was on the verge of falling apart. When Saigon fell to the communists in April 1975, we were lucky to leave by plane. My parents had to start over in America, forty-somethings with five kids in tow.
Needless to say, Dad had more time hanging with me, in between teaching ESL at the local junior high in the day and adult school in the evening. We drove around Southern California a lot in our Ford Mercury to explore, and we went fishing together too. At home, he’d tell me stories of his life in Vietnam, though I was too young to appreciate them all.
The lasting memories of our time together were frankly, all about food. Does that surprise you? Bo Gia (“Old Daddy” in Vietnamese) and I shared many foods over time and these five are particularly special:
Strawberries: We lived in Southern California and late spring and summer was strawberry season. My mom does not eat fruit that she can’t peel (a very Asian thing) so my dad bought strawberries for himself and to share with us kids. After dinner, he liked to macerate them in a little liquor for us to enjoy. I took over strawberry duty at a certain point and probably got to liking rum a bit more than a 12-year-old should. I currently live in a major strawberry growing region of the state and welcome the berry season every year.
Raw-ish Fish: My mom also has an aversion to raw fish while my dad loves it. The first time I had under-cooked fish with my father was when my mom was away. My father cooked up a simple chao creamy rice soup (congee/jook) and he made a ceviche-like raw fish mixture that he put into the bottom of our bowls. He then ladled the hot soup onto the fish to lightly cook it. Divine. It was so good that I included a recipe for Dad’s chao ca in Into the Vietnamese Kitchen.
Avocado: In Vietnam, avocados are called butter fruit. They were pricey and so my father relished all that we could buy and eat in Southern California. We had delicate Fuertes and then graduated to buttery Hass when they became popular in the marketplace. My dad never mashed the avocados up for guacamole. He just cut one open, removed the seed and drizzled sweetened condensed milk in the well. Then he handed me a spoon. Heaven. That’s what led my fondness for avocados, and I eventually wrote a cover story on the fruit for Saveur magazine.
Canned Liver Pate: Western ingredients were and still are expensive in Vietnam. Butter, good baguettes, and wine are luxe items. Before high blood pressure and cholesterol were issues to my father, he indulged in fatty, salty foods. When we discovered The Akron, a precursor to Cost Plus, he perused the imported foods section. Tubes of escargot shells and Dijon mustard did not appeal to him as much as canned French liver pate. My father bought one smaller than a can of tuna and we tried it in the car. Approvingly, he went back into The Akron and bought more for home. Every time I see canned pate at the market, I think of how we ate the pate in the car. Try before you buy.
Mapo Tofu: Sometimes we discovered new foods together. My dad used to let me tag along when he went to visit friends. One day he let me accompany him to lunch with Mr. Lee, a Chinese friend who took us to a fancy Chinese restaurant in Costa Mesa. There, Mr. Lee ordered a table-full of food. The dish that stuck with me was spicy Sichuan mapo tofu. At that time, I didn’t know what its name was and looked high and low for a good recipe for years. I made it with mapo tofu recipes from Iren Kuo and Fuchsia Dunlop. Finally, I went to Chengdu, the capital of Sichuan Province in China, to sample the popular tofu dish in its place of origin. Then I went home and developed the recipe that’s in Asian Tofu. That childhood pleasure no longer eludes.
My father didn’t know what he was doing when he introduced me to his favorite foods and let me join him on his excursions about town. He was cultivating a bit of himself in me. What a nice gift to give your daughter. Happy Father’s Day, Bo Gia!
How did your father, uncle, or grandpa contribute to your life in food? Please share.
Related posts:
- My Dad’s Wisdom and Wackiness
- My Father’s 80th Birthday Bash
- Dad’s Other Holy Trinity: Tiger Balm, Eucalyptus Oil, and Toothpicks
- Avocado shake recipe (a Southeast Asian treat)
- Strawberry and Cream layer cake (make your dad one of these?)
Sonia (Restaurant Baby's Sister)
Avocado with condensed milk! That sounds yummy -- must try soon. Thanks so much for sharing your food memories.
Lee
Im Asian & I've never heard of Asians not eating fruit that can't be peeled. Can you explain further?
Lili
Avocado & sweetened condensed milk! Yum! It sounds like the precursor to the popular avocado shake. When I lived in Scotland, and there were no VN restaurants, I used to try to make avocado shakes to the chagrin of our friends there. They had a hard time conceptualizing avocado in drink form.
leah
Lovely! It's amazing how our parents shape our tastes for food. My mom was the food shopper in our family, and because she is an adventurous eater, I became fearless when it came to trying out new foods. My dad is the baker in the family. He baked our birthday cakes and would whip up muffins for afternoon snack. His most unforgettable concoction is the chocomonut cookie --- that's chocolate, coconut, molasses, peanut cookies. This was in the Philippines, in the 1970's. We were probably the only kids on the block eating homebaked cookies for 'merienda'. Thanks for making me think of my dad. 🙂
Andrea Nguyen
It's a great combo, Sonia!
Andrea Nguyen
It's often a hygiene and/or pesticide-related issue. Peel apples and pears before eating them. I have friend in their 40s, born in Asia and raised mostly here, who prefer their fruit peeled. Of course, you have to peel citrus. Removing the peel in a single spiral is a cool marker. One of rare exceptions are grapes, which I suppose you could peel if they're large and you're determined.
But as I relate, my dad wasn't of the same mindset. It's common though.
Andrea Nguyen
When you don't have easy access milk or ice cream for a shake, how about a creamy avocado and convenient condensed milk? Perfecto.
Andrea Nguyen
How wonderful, Leah. You were a lucky gal! Thank you for sharing.
Andrea Nguyen
Just got this comment from Tu via email:
Thank you Andrea, I enjoyed reading this post a lot. I came from a family of 5 children as well, and I’m the baby at 50. My mom was the chef and my dad was the taster as well and he had a fondness for raw and rare/hard to get food as with all Vietnamese males. I also live in Costa Mesa/Newport Beach, quite close to the drivers nightmare area of Little Saigon.
The first time we had Carpaccio with arugula and shaved parmesan at an upscale Italian restaurant in Philadelphia; we realized that there are many versions of raw beef salad from many countries around the world even if Bo Tai Chanh is one of our favorites. And we went on to taste raw types of dishes at many other restaurant around places we moved to in the US. I must conclude that Bo Tai Chanh along with Carpaccio, Beef Tartare and the current trend of Kobe beef dishes are my favorites. I just wish that my parents were still around to enjoy them with me.
anne p
I lived in Vietnam a few years ago and one of the things I miss is strawberries blended with sweetend condensed milk!!! Oh there are so many other foods I miss.....
Yun Ho
When it came to fruits, you cannot beat the variety of fruits Vietnam offers.
Mangosteen, mango, star apple, custard apple, pomelo, sapodilla, rambutan, star fruit, durian, longan, guava, water apple, jackfruit, bananas, green tangerines, papaya, dragon fruit and the list goes on...
What I remember the most living in Saigon (it was pre-Ho Chi Minh) was the fruit shakes where tropical fruit, sweetened condensed milk, natural cane sugar, and ice were all blended in a blender then they were poured in a small plastic bag. A long straw was placed in the bag so that we could sip the ice cold shake and the plastic bag was enclosed by tying a rubber band around. Voila, a portable fruit shake!
Another favorite drink of mine was the sugar cane and green tangerine juice.
Living in Vietnam was my best years of experiencing unforgettable foods!
Andrea Nguyen
What a great idea for a strawberry milkshake!
Andrea Nguyen
The smoothies in Vietnam are AMAZING. Many vendors have forgone the plastic bags for plastic cups. And the fresh sugar cane where they stick a piece of citrus into the rollers... stupendous!
Thanks for reminding me of the wonders of those shakes. They totally depend upon the freshness of the fruits. OMG good.
Kitt
Lovely memories. My family was similar, with mom the cook and dad the eater. He always encouraged us kids to try anything and everything. He talked me into trying raw oysters and I wasn't impressed, but since he'd developed an allergy to them, he was always urging me to order them so he could enjoy them vicariously. I'd choke them down and smile, "Yeah, Dad, they're really good!" It just made him so happy.
Well, you might guess how it turned out. I finally learned to like raw oysters. Now I order them for myself on occasion and wish he were still around to share my enjoyment.
Debra
I have a fond memory of going out to lunch with my father, a rare and special occurrence when I was a young girl, and eating moo shi pork for the first time. Maybe my ever-growing love of Asian food dates from that lunch decades ago.
Doris
Great post! My parents were both the same in the same respect of your mom being the cook and dad being the eater. But my mom enjoyed eating avocados (very rarely when avocados were on sale; Dad was not a fan) smashed in a cup with sugar and milk (so kinda like the sweetened condensed milk). I love the part of the post about the macerated strabwerries, peeled fruit (grapes were the exception in our house too!), and pate. The macareted strawberries with wine was a fav of mine as a little kid (about 6?) and pate with a crusty baguette. My dad was a fan of stinky cheeses (e.g., bleu) and I saw it once in a while making an appearance in our fridge growing up. I'm thankful for my Viet-French upbringing that makes me appreciate a lot of different foods (esp cheese--the stinkier the better, lol).
josie
omg, speaking of smoothies and shakes, i had .50 cent mango shakes in luang prabang and still think of them to this day. that was 10 yrs ago!
can't beat asian for the variety of good fruits!
charsiew
your dad is ahead of his time in terms of his adventuresome attitude towards food pairing, cool! i also come from a family of5 (girls only! girl power!) and will always remember his sardines with chopped shallots, squeeze of lime, chopped spring onions and sliced chilies. He didn't cook much since my mom was the queen bee in the kitchen, but when he could dabble in the kitchen, he would make this for us. i've always loved this as a kid. absolutely delish 🙂
Andrea Nguyen
Looks like he planted the seed way back, Debra! Thanks for sharing.
Andrea Nguyen
Stinky cheese = mam tom (shrimp paste/sauce) = chao (fermented tofu). Wonderful, fermented foods! You are lucky indeed, Doris.
Andrea Nguyen
Aren't sardines wonderful -- especially with the lime and chiles? What a nice food tip that your father gifted you. It will stay with you forever.
Andrea Nguyen
Southeast Asia is where I could go on a raw fruit diet. Ok, maybe not but you know what I mean.
Mich L
this is a really beautiful story and i definitely relate to what you told me. as a young kid growing up, i really tried to like all the foods my parents shared with me, especially the snacks that they would secretly get with me when they weren't together! I felt that it really brought me closer to my parents.. sort of like seeing the world through their tastebuds
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uyen
Mm, I love avocado with sweetened condensed milk too. I always wondered if it was just my mom who does that or other people too - now I know. 🙂
The part about your dad macerating the strawberries in rum made me smile. My dad loves to add a splash of liquor to unusual things - a splash on his ice cream, or in those hollow, liquer-filled chocolates from France. He'll bite the top off, drink the liquer, then top it off with whatever bottle he has handy!
Karen
Oh I love this post...my father would take me out for special lunches too! I have never tried avocado with condensed milk - we usually sprinkled sugar on cut halves in our house. I definitely rememebr the tinned pate! I get nostalgic every time I see a can and even buy one every now and then even though I can now make my own now.
In Orange County, my mother and I used to buy a fresh block of tofu and ask for a bit of salt and sit in the car devouring the steamy brick with our bare hands - I really miss those times .... the simple pleasures in life I guess.
Tu Doan
uyen...the Vietnamese use almost everything with condensed milk when they're making smoothies to enhance the taste.
For example, Jackfruit, avocado, custard apple, sapoche smoothies.
Andrea...I do like your story about your dad. Unfortunately, my dad left me when I was 2 and went to prison (they called it educational camp). Eight years later, he was released from the prison and my childhood already passed. Besides, my mom said he was a different person because of what he experienced in the prison. Thus, I don't really have a dad when I have one. Still better than other people who don't have one.
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